I've heard a little about that. I guess it makes sense, if you think about how many different universes end up intersecting with this one.
[ Steve tries not to; it's hard to wrap his mind around how many versions of himself have been through here already, and how many more are likely to exist. He isn't even sure which branch of the hard sciences the study of multiple universes would belong to, but he's sure it would be beyond his comprehension. He just doesn't have a mind for theoretical physics, but it probably makes perfect sense to Vision. That's not really what this conversation is about, though. ]
Yes. I do. [ What else can he say? He didn't think he'd be having this conversation, with Vision or anyone else. The whole point of coming to Eudio was to fix all that.
[ there's another pause as vision gathers his thoughts, and, guiltily, shores up defenses. he finds he's always halfway prepared to justify himself, with their cohorts. he didn't used to mind. ]
[ Talking to Vision always feels like a game of chess, where the words, like moves, have to be carefully considered. It's not a game Steve plays to win — it's enough of a challenge just to figure out where Vision is coming from, and how he wants to respond to it.
[ There aren't a lot of people who wouldn't have reservations about changing the past, but Steve is almost relieved when he gets no such argument from Vision. ]
I hope that's true.
Is that your reason for being here too? To change the past?
Yes. People were hurt who shouldn't have been. It is regrettable.
[ it feels like it comes out too quick, too clean. machine-precise. vision doesn't know how to talk about what in particular he regrets, doesn't have the words for the sight of steve on the tarmac, storming over the line vision had carved himself. ]
I'm sorry about Rhodes. You shouldn't have been put in that position. None of you.
[ He didn't find out about Rhodes until after... everything. But Tony knew. Through it all — the video, the fight — Tony knew. Steve is sure the serum is the only thing that kept him from being sick.
Maybe it goes without saying that it was his own fault they were there, that if he started apologizing for all of the ways he let his people down he'd never stop. But probably not. He knows he has to say the actual words somehow, at some point. But not like this, over text. ]
[ in real time vision touches down on the floor of his apartment from where he floated absently in the corner, walks through the space as though it’s material and consequential. his housemate will be home (in an hour). he has the sudden need to make tea. it will still be consumable in an hour, probably. and he doesn’t need his phone to text. ]
I understood your opposition to the Accords. And I also understood that this was a personal matter for you. It wasn’t so, for me.
[ it’s just more neutrality, in the end, or as good as. over the past year and change vision has discovered within himself bias, frustration, criticism, amusement. it’s still easy to keep them at bay, at least long enough not to be too frank over a text conversation. he knows tony has suffered; he doesn’t really know to what extent. and anyway, it might be a relic of some old programming that keeps him delicate with tony stark’s secrets.
instead: ]
It’s interesting. The day of my creation I embraced nuance, relativism. Humans by necessity learn to make peace with their malcontent. And yet as more days pass, it becomes less easy for me to accept no-win scenarios. Sometimes I think I’m growing backwards.
[ he sighs, internally. when he turns his gaze inward all he sees are warning signs.. ]
I would credit this change in part to your leadership, Captain. Against all reason, I did hope for the best. And I continue to, for you.
[ The pathetic truth is that Steve hasn't felt at all optimistic in the past however many weeks. But now it feels like he had a responsibility to keep that alive, and he did nothing about it. ]
I don't think you're growing backwards. I've never found growth to be strictly linear, myself.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Steve tries not to; it's hard to wrap his mind around how many versions of himself have been through here already, and how many more are likely to exist. He isn't even sure which branch of the hard sciences the study of multiple universes would belong to, but he's sure it would be beyond his comprehension. He just doesn't have a mind for theoretical physics, but it probably makes perfect sense to Vision. That's not really what this conversation is about, though. ]
Yes. I do. [ What else can he say? He didn't think he'd be having this conversation, with Vision or anyone else. The whole point of coming to Eudio was to fix all that.
Maybe Vision can understand that. ]
It's why I'm here.
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Is it?
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The question catches him by surprise, though. ]
You don't believe me?
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[ a plain statement of fact, like he's discussing the weather, his own opinions on the matter seldom to be seen. ]
If the past can be changed, then it should be.
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I hope that's true.
Is that your reason for being here too? To change the past?
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[ it feels like it comes out too quick, too clean. machine-precise. vision doesn't know how to talk about what in particular he regrets, doesn't have the words for the sight of steve on the tarmac, storming over the line vision had carved himself. ]
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[ He didn't find out about Rhodes until after... everything. But Tony knew. Through it all — the video, the fight — Tony knew. Steve is sure the serum is the only thing that kept him from being sick.
Maybe it goes without saying that it was his own fault they were there, that if he started apologizing for all of the ways he let his people down he'd never stop. But probably not. He knows he has to say the actual words somehow, at some point. But not like this, over text. ]
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You shouldn’t apologize, Captain. It was my error.
[ another pause. the admission tastes bitter, even over text. ]
I don’t expect it to be the last.
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[ in real time vision touches down on the floor of his apartment from where he floated absently in the corner, walks through the space as though it’s material and consequential. his housemate will be home (in an hour). he has the sudden need to make tea. it will still be consumable in an hour, probably. and he doesn’t need his phone to text. ]
I understood your opposition to the Accords. And I also understood that this was a personal matter for you. It wasn’t so, for me.
I didn’t know what would happen.
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[ The deception comment stings. Steve can't tell if Vision meant it to or not. Does he know about Steve's secret? ]
I knew how I wanted it to happen. I didn't want to entertain other outcomes.
Now I don't know if a positive outcome was ever possible.
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instead: ]
It’s interesting. The day of my creation I embraced nuance, relativism. Humans by necessity learn to make peace with their malcontent. And yet as more days pass, it becomes less easy for me to accept no-win scenarios. Sometimes I think I’m growing backwards.
[ he sighs, internally. when he turns his gaze inward all he sees are warning signs.. ]
I would credit this change in part to your leadership, Captain. Against all reason, I did hope for the best. And I continue to, for you.
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I don't think you're growing backwards. I've never found growth to be strictly linear, myself.
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[ this with a touch of wry amusement. ]
So you’ve come to reverse the effects of those weeks?