Like you could even pick up a mallet before the serum.
[But there's something almost affectionate about the way he teases Steve - or at least a little friendlier than his earlier anger. Something closer to the banter they'd had before everything went sideways.]
Painting on cave walls seems like it's more your style. [He bats his eyelashes at Steve.] Draw me like one of your Neanderthal girls, Rogers.
Hah! [ A bark of laughter rips out of Steve before he can catch himself. Only a handful of people would tease him about that. Years ago, Steve would have taken it like a sucker punch, especially coming from Tony, who had seen right through him from the moment they met, when he pegged the serum as the only thing making Steve special. The years since have humbled him, and his group counseling stint mellowed him (by a very narrow, relative margin, but still). Steve doesn't bristle like he would have before, and he isn't defensively committed to misunderstanding Tony.
It still ends up feeling like a sucker punch, though. Steve's laugh dissolves into a groan as his body makes him regret every individual nerve ending. A couple of minutes and some very deep breaths later, he is more or less leveled out, if a little red in the face. ]
You know you'd have to sit still for a portrait, right?
[ Of course Steve didn't make it to 2023 without seeing Titanic, but right now he's really wishing he had. Knowing exactly what Tony's referencing in this instance is a curse. ]
[That laugh actually gets something more like a genuine smile out of Tony, albeit a small one - but then Steve groans and Tony feels pain knife through his own body. He doubles over in the chair and tries to suck in a deep breath, head between his knees. He assumes the painkillers the doctors have dosed him with are wearing off, nothing more; after a few moments, the pain eases, and he's able to sit up again.]
Can't do a lot else right now. [Tony pulls a face at his own weakness; he's not as young as he used to be, and he knows from experience that he's not going to bounce back like he might have ten years ago.] But a valid point nonetheless, since I don't know how soon you'll be picking up a pencil.
[Sooner than he will, probably. The serum's like that.]
[ Steve lifts his right hand and wiggles his fingers. He still has dirt under his fingernails from digging through the rubble of their headquarters. But the main thing is: ]
Still got my drawing hand.
[ His left arm is covered in gauze from the shoulder down to his fingertips. If the angry, blistered skin around his shoulder and collarbone are any indication, it's not pretty.
The serum has never been put to the test like this, but it hasn't failed him yet. Steve is more concerned about Tony— he caught a glimpse in his periphery of Tony doubled over, but by the time Steve recovered, Tony was already upright again. ]
[More than I've got, Tony thinks, but Steve would (rightfully) point out that he's alive and he'll be able to adjust. And it's true, although Tony keeps wondering if he might be better off if they'd just amputated his hand. For all he knows, he's stuck with a useless claw - but there's no use in wallowing in self-pity. Not right now, anyway. He'll save that for when he's alone.]
Forget drawing, [he scoffs,] you'll probably be out of bed and swinging that hammer around by tomorrow afternoon.
[He almost says 'throwing your shield', but catches himself just in time. Just means he'll have to work on that prototype once he's free of the hospital.]
[ Steve glances down at the fingers of his right hand, picking at a hangnail that suddenly holds his full attention. He knows what it's supposed to mean that he could lift the hammer, but knowing is not accepting.
He tells Tony the same thing he told himself when it happened: ] You know, that was probably a fluke. I bet the hammer would've responded to anyone who stepped up to the plate to rescue Thor.
[ But it sure was a hell of a fight. Steve hasn't even begun to process everything that happened on that battlefield. He was unconscious for the aftermath.
Which reminds him: ] Is everyone... Were there any casualties?
[Tony, of course, isn't in the least bit surprised. He just wonders why it hadn't happened at the party all those years ago.]
Everyone's fine - or as fine as they can be, considering the circumstances. [He hadn't been conscious much longer than Steve after he snapped, but he's had Rhodey fill him in on everything since then.] Mostly bumps and bruises, apart from Banner's arm.
[ Steve closes his eyes and exhales, relieved. There's an ache in his heart, a space carved out by Natasha's death that won't ever heal, but it's downright miraculous that they didn't lose anyone else. She'd be proud. ]
Good.
[ It feels strange, to finally be on the other side of the snap. Believing that taking a stand together would make all the difference was the delicate flicker of hope that kept Steve going, but he only believed it because he had to. How else could he keep trudging along in the wake of his failures?
After five long and miserable years, there's a lingering fear that the rug will be pulled out from under them. He wonders if Tony feels it too. ]
So we're three for three with arm injuries, huh? Can't wait to tell Buck he ain't special.
[ Steve freezes, too late to catch himself. Shit. He and Tony were just getting along. Why would he bring up Bucky now?
He watches closely for Tony's reaction, all while doing his best to make it look like he isn't staring, a near impossible feat in such an enclosed space. ]
[Tony likes to tell himself that he's perfectly mature, that it's been seven years since they beat each other up in an abandoned missile silo in Siberia and he's come to terms with the fact that Steve lied to him and then tried to kill him to protect his best friend. (In retrospect, of course, Tony knows he shouldn't have lashed out at Barnes, but the problem is that he's only human, that the combination of grief and feeling betrayed by his best friend had left him reeling like a one-two punch.)
The reality is more complicated. Tony doesn't know how he feels about Barnes now that he's had time to consider the matter (had time to read over the HYDRA files on him, sifted out from SHIELD's data dump). But he does very much suspect that he and Steve are...involved, and that's enough to make his stomach twist in that old jealous knot he's used to. He clenches his hidden hand into a fist and immediately regrets the motion; the fingers barely move, and it still sends shooting pain up his arm and oh Jesus fuck.
He sucks in a breath of air through his teeth before he speaks again, his voice a little strained.]
He'll be the only one with vibranium, though, unless I can talk T'Challa into giving us more.
[ For all that he is hanging on Tony's next words, desperate to know that he hasn't just shattered the budding ease between the two of them, Steve ends up not hearing any of it. Stabbing pain shoots from the knuckles on his right hand all the away up to his shoulder blades. It knocks the breath out of him in a sudden huff, the pain inexplicably on par with that of his left arm, which had actual contact with the gauntlet.
Maybe referred pain packs more of a punch when the injury is gauntlet-induced. It's an unconvincing theory, but he doesn't have any others. ]
Might've spoken too soon about that drawing hand. [ He grits his teeth, waiting for the pain to stop radiating. It ebbs away little by little. ]
[Literally anything is preferable to talking about Bucky Barnes - hence Tony's attempt to quickly change the topic - but he still frowns and tilts his head.]
Still numb from chucking around lightning bolts?
[Because Tony can see the bandages from his injury on Steve's left side, and he knows full well he's right-handed. It doesn't quite add up, although that might be the lingering effects of the painkillers in his system.]
No, it's— [ Steve frowns down at his right hand, then looks over to Tony. He was prepared to dismiss it, but maybe Tony wasn't so far off. ] Actually, you might be onto something there. Maybe lightning powers come with residual side effects for us mortals.
[Sure, there's a scientific reason why Steve survived crashing a plane into the Arctic and being frozen in a block of ice for decades, but Tony also has a few suspicions about potential side effects of the serum and its rapid cellular regeneration.
It's just a joke, though. Really.]
Electricity causes the coolest burn scars, though. I'm kinda jealous.
[...says a man who has narrowly avoided electrocution more than once in the course of his life as a mad scientist.]
[ Once upon a time, Tony's jab about Steve's mortality would have struck a nerve, more than likely escalating into yet another explosive argument. Maybe the years really have mellowed Steve, or maybe he's still a little high on success, stunned that their insane plan actually worked.
He allows for the possibility that for Tony, Steve not being wholly mortal has more to do with the highly fictionalized story of Captain America that Tony was raised on. Tony doesn't know that every time Steve watches his body improbably stitch itself back together, he worries that he'll eventually lose grip on the mortal experience and forget how it feels to be truly human.
It's an irrational fear (probably) but one that stays with him. The part where he isn't lashing out at Tony for inadvertently stepping on an emotional landmine, however, is new. Maybe they really can go up from here.
Steve finds it surprisingly easy to skip over the hurdle and move on to Tony's next line. He frowns back at Tony, an exaggerated display of skepticism. ]
I'm sure you have your fair share, the way you run around sticking your finger in electric sockets. [ It might have been a criticism, once, but now Steve's tone is fond. Maybe a little too fond for someone still trying to keep his errant feelings under wraps, but it's an improvement from where they started. ]
For science, [Tony defends himself with a grin. Maybe time apart from each other was what they'd needed - if only because now that he has Steve back, he doesn't want to risk driving him away again. But he's barely willing to admit that to himself, let alone anyone else, and definitely not Steve. Steve doesn't really need him, anyway, not now that they've brought everyone else back. Part of Tony just hopes he'll stick around.
So maybe that leads him to take a deep breath and fidget with the hem of his jacket a little.]
So. Do you think I should pick a different piece of land to rebuild?
[ Steve shakes his head a little, thinking on it. His chest deflates on a sigh. He doesn't know how to feel, not least because he has felt like a trespasser whenever he set foot on the compound within the last several years.
But it is nice of Tony to pretend he values Steve's input. Steve recognizes the olive branch for what it is, and this time, he is quick to accept.
Despite his own personal feelings, he realizes there is only one right answer. ]
No, I uh— [ He pauses to clear his throat, already feeling a lump forming. ] I think Nat would want us to stay.
[He coughs, takes a drink of water to clear his throat.]
I wasn't sure. [Tony looks away, blinking quickly for a moment.] Just didn't know if it would feel right to build there. But you're right, it's what she would have wanted.
[He glances back at Steve, tries to act casual.] I'll probably spend some time there. You know, in an advisory capacity.
[And they both know exactly how 'advisory' he'll manage to remain, but he can at least pretend for now.
[ He takes that in for a moment, nodding softly. Steve hasn't given much thought to what he'll do now, but he imagines it won't look too different from what he was doing before. Demand for counseling is likely to skyrocket, so at the very least he ought to keep the group going. He can rope Sam in, maybe even Bucky.
He sneaks a quick glance at Tony, wondering if he'd be interested. Something to consider.
As for the topic at hand... ] Advisory, huh? You handing the reins over to Rhodes? Or is Carol sticking around?
[ Natasha was responsible for keeping The Avengers running, even if she had to hold the various scattered pieces together herself. Those are big shoes to fill.
(Steve does not, for even one second, consider himself as an option. Leaders who spark insurrection in the ranks are typically disqualified from the role.) ]
[Tony just huffs, and the sound is a combination of wry and amused.] Was I ever really the leader, Steve?
[Not like they'd had a team when he was gone, after all. When it comes down to it, Steve is the Avengers in a way Tony had always hoped for, but never achieved. (He has to admit that his ego really doesn't lend itself to leadership positions.) Tony doesn't know what can be done on the legal side of things, but considering that he's just saved Earth (and the rest of the universe), getting taken off the Most Wanted list should be a given. And if it's not, there's a whole bunch of overpaid lawyers sitting around with nothing to do right now.]
Can't imagine Danvers staying here when she has a whole universe to take care of, anyway. [Plus Carol scares him a little bit.]
[ Steve meant what he said in his letter to Tony, even if there were probably several hundred better ways to say it. He sees The Avengers as a family, yes, but more so Tony's— and especially now, Natasha's— than his. Growing up, it was just him and his mom, and after she died, Steve never overcame his stubborn need to assert independence.
(Sure, he had legitimate legal concerns, and the entire accords ordeal smelled rotten from the start, but Steve knows that he could have tried harder to find common ground with Tony. He expects he'll always live with that regret.)
As for Tony's question, Steve rolls his eyes with equal parts exasperation and self-deprecation. ] I think we've established I'm not the authority on leadership that I was made out to be. You sure you don't wanna give it a shot?
I think that Fury's assessment that I don't play well with others was more accurate than I may have previously admitted.
[Yes, he's just stating the obvious, but Tony's just trying to reach out to Steve here. Sometimes that means acknowledging his flaws, which is also not something he's good at. He can't help it; he's been arrogant his whole life, even after learning a lesson about humility (several lessons about humility, but who's counting?) at gunpoint. It's just who he is.]
Look, if you really don't want to, we'll figure something out. But I think you're the best man for the job.
[Assuming that they still have a team, which is a little debatable.]
[ Tony's words have Steve's head snapping up so fast that he feels it in his injured shoulder, the muscles in his neck pulling just enough to sting. It isn't the violent flare up from earlier but it makes him hiss out sharply.
Steve doesn't know what to make of Tony's seemingly fully restored faith in him. Tony forgiving him because resentment is corrosive is still a ways off from believing he's worthy of leading The Avengers again. ]
Maybe it's a two man job. [ The suggestion escapes Steve before he can think any better of it. It has all the makings of a terrible idea but it would give him a reason to stay, a place to occupy in Tony's life. That's something he was afraid to admit he wanted until it began to seem like an actual possibility. ]
[Tony finds himself rubbing at his neck suddenly, but he chalks it up to - well, everything, basically. Even a nanite suit can't absorb every blow, as much as he might wish otherwise. What's strange is that Steve hisses in pain at the same time. It makes something stir in the depths of Tony's mind, but he can't manage to put it together.]
You think Wilson's leadership material? [he retorts dryly. Nothing against Sam, really, he just wants to fuck with Steve a little, and he's going to leave the elephant in the room alone.]
[ There's enough humor in Tony's voice to keep alive that newly ignited flicker of hope. But first, two can play at this game. ]
Now that you mention it, that's actually not a bad idea. [ Steve gives his best effort to look like he's seriously considering it, if only for the brief time he can sustain it before he's looking back at Tony, shaking his head. ]
But I meant you. Unless you think working well together was just a one-time fluke.
[ His aggressively easygoing tone doesn't betray how desperately Steve is hoping the answer is no. ]
[Sam probably is better leadership material than Tony - he's certainly better at getting along with people (although who isn't?). But Tony isn't going to turn down this olive branch, even though he imagines they'll both end up regretting it in the not-too-distant future.]
As long as you don't nearly kill yourself trying to save my life again.
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[But there's something almost affectionate about the way he teases Steve - or at least a little friendlier than his earlier anger. Something closer to the banter they'd had before everything went sideways.]
Painting on cave walls seems like it's more your style. [He bats his eyelashes at Steve.] Draw me like one of your Neanderthal girls, Rogers.
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It still ends up feeling like a sucker punch, though. Steve's laugh dissolves into a groan as his body makes him regret every individual nerve ending. A couple of minutes and some very deep breaths later, he is more or less leveled out, if a little red in the face. ]
You know you'd have to sit still for a portrait, right?
[ Of course Steve didn't make it to 2023 without seeing Titanic, but right now he's really wishing he had. Knowing exactly what Tony's referencing in this instance is a curse. ]
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Can't do a lot else right now. [Tony pulls a face at his own weakness; he's not as young as he used to be, and he knows from experience that he's not going to bounce back like he might have ten years ago.] But a valid point nonetheless, since I don't know how soon you'll be picking up a pencil.
[Sooner than he will, probably. The serum's like that.]
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Still got my drawing hand.
[ His left arm is covered in gauze from the shoulder down to his fingertips. If the angry, blistered skin around his shoulder and collarbone are any indication, it's not pretty.
The serum has never been put to the test like this, but it hasn't failed him yet. Steve is more concerned about Tony— he caught a glimpse in his periphery of Tony doubled over, but by the time Steve recovered, Tony was already upright again. ]
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Forget drawing, [he scoffs,] you'll probably be out of bed and swinging that hammer around by tomorrow afternoon.
[He almost says 'throwing your shield', but catches himself just in time. Just means he'll have to work on that prototype once he's free of the hospital.]
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He tells Tony the same thing he told himself when it happened: ] You know, that was probably a fluke. I bet the hammer would've responded to anyone who stepped up to the plate to rescue Thor.
[ But it sure was a hell of a fight. Steve hasn't even begun to process everything that happened on that battlefield. He was unconscious for the aftermath.
Which reminds him: ] Is everyone... Were there any casualties?
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[Tony, of course, isn't in the least bit surprised. He just wonders why it hadn't happened at the party all those years ago.]
Everyone's fine - or as fine as they can be, considering the circumstances. [He hadn't been conscious much longer than Steve after he snapped, but he's had Rhodey fill him in on everything since then.] Mostly bumps and bruises, apart from Banner's arm.
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Good.
[ It feels strange, to finally be on the other side of the snap. Believing that taking a stand together would make all the difference was the delicate flicker of hope that kept Steve going, but he only believed it because he had to. How else could he keep trudging along in the wake of his failures?
After five long and miserable years, there's a lingering fear that the rug will be pulled out from under them. He wonders if Tony feels it too. ]
So we're three for three with arm injuries, huh? Can't wait to tell Buck he ain't special.
[ Steve freezes, too late to catch himself. Shit. He and Tony were just getting along. Why would he bring up Bucky now?
He watches closely for Tony's reaction, all while doing his best to make it look like he isn't staring, a near impossible feat in such an enclosed space. ]
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The reality is more complicated. Tony doesn't know how he feels about Barnes now that he's had time to consider the matter (had time to read over the HYDRA files on him, sifted out from SHIELD's data dump). But he does very much suspect that he and Steve are...involved, and that's enough to make his stomach twist in that old jealous knot he's used to. He clenches his hidden hand into a fist and immediately regrets the motion; the fingers barely move, and it still sends shooting pain up his arm and oh Jesus fuck.
He sucks in a breath of air through his teeth before he speaks again, his voice a little strained.]
He'll be the only one with vibranium, though, unless I can talk T'Challa into giving us more.
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Maybe referred pain packs more of a punch when the injury is gauntlet-induced. It's an unconvincing theory, but he doesn't have any others. ]
Might've spoken too soon about that drawing hand. [ He grits his teeth, waiting for the pain to stop radiating. It ebbs away little by little. ]
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Still numb from chucking around lightning bolts?
[Because Tony can see the bandages from his injury on Steve's left side, and he knows full well he's right-handed. It doesn't quite add up, although that might be the lingering effects of the painkillers in his system.]
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[Sure, there's a scientific reason why Steve survived crashing a plane into the Arctic and being frozen in a block of ice for decades, but Tony also has a few suspicions about potential side effects of the serum and its rapid cellular regeneration.
It's just a joke, though. Really.]
Electricity causes the coolest burn scars, though. I'm kinda jealous.
[...says a man who has narrowly avoided electrocution more than once in the course of his life as a mad scientist.]
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He allows for the possibility that for Tony, Steve not being wholly mortal has more to do with the highly fictionalized story of Captain America that Tony was raised on. Tony doesn't know that every time Steve watches his body improbably stitch itself back together, he worries that he'll eventually lose grip on the mortal experience and forget how it feels to be truly human.
It's an irrational fear (probably) but one that stays with him. The part where he isn't lashing out at Tony for inadvertently stepping on an emotional landmine, however, is new. Maybe they really can go up from here.
Steve finds it surprisingly easy to skip over the hurdle and move on to Tony's next line. He frowns back at Tony, an exaggerated display of skepticism. ]
I'm sure you have your fair share, the way you run around sticking your finger in electric sockets. [ It might have been a criticism, once, but now Steve's tone is fond. Maybe a little too fond for someone still trying to keep his errant feelings under wraps, but it's an improvement from where they started. ]
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So maybe that leads him to take a deep breath and fidget with the hem of his jacket a little.]
So. Do you think I should pick a different piece of land to rebuild?
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But it is nice of Tony to pretend he values Steve's input. Steve recognizes the olive branch for what it is, and this time, he is quick to accept.
Despite his own personal feelings, he realizes there is only one right answer. ]
No, I uh— [ He pauses to clear his throat, already feeling a lump forming. ] I think Nat would want us to stay.
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[He coughs, takes a drink of water to clear his throat.]
I wasn't sure. [Tony looks away, blinking quickly for a moment.] Just didn't know if it would feel right to build there. But you're right, it's what she would have wanted.
[He glances back at Steve, tries to act casual.] I'll probably spend some time there. You know, in an advisory capacity.
[And they both know exactly how 'advisory' he'll manage to remain, but he can at least pretend for now.
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He sneaks a quick glance at Tony, wondering if he'd be interested. Something to consider.
As for the topic at hand... ] Advisory, huh? You handing the reins over to Rhodes? Or is Carol sticking around?
[ Natasha was responsible for keeping The Avengers running, even if she had to hold the various scattered pieces together herself. Those are big shoes to fill.
(Steve does not, for even one second, consider himself as an option. Leaders who spark insurrection in the ranks are typically disqualified from the role.) ]
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[Not like they'd had a team when he was gone, after all. When it comes down to it, Steve is the Avengers in a way Tony had always hoped for, but never achieved. (He has to admit that his ego really doesn't lend itself to leadership positions.) Tony doesn't know what can be done on the legal side of things, but considering that he's just saved Earth (and the rest of the universe), getting taken off the Most Wanted list should be a given. And if it's not, there's a whole bunch of overpaid lawyers sitting around with nothing to do right now.]
Can't imagine Danvers staying here when she has a whole universe to take care of, anyway. [Plus Carol scares him a little bit.]
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(Sure, he had legitimate legal concerns, and the entire accords ordeal smelled rotten from the start, but Steve knows that he could have tried harder to find common ground with Tony. He expects he'll always live with that regret.)
As for Tony's question, Steve rolls his eyes with equal parts exasperation and self-deprecation. ] I think we've established I'm not the authority on leadership that I was made out to be. You sure you don't wanna give it a shot?
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[Yes, he's just stating the obvious, but Tony's just trying to reach out to Steve here. Sometimes that means acknowledging his flaws, which is also not something he's good at. He can't help it; he's been arrogant his whole life, even after learning a lesson about humility (several lessons about humility, but who's counting?) at gunpoint. It's just who he is.]
Look, if you really don't want to, we'll figure something out. But I think you're the best man for the job.
[Assuming that they still have a team, which is a little debatable.]
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Steve doesn't know what to make of Tony's seemingly fully restored faith in him. Tony forgiving him because resentment is corrosive is still a ways off from believing he's worthy of leading The Avengers again. ]
Maybe it's a two man job. [ The suggestion escapes Steve before he can think any better of it. It has all the makings of a terrible idea but it would give him a reason to stay, a place to occupy in Tony's life. That's something he was afraid to admit he wanted until it began to seem like an actual possibility. ]
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You think Wilson's leadership material? [he retorts dryly. Nothing against Sam, really, he just wants to fuck with Steve a little, and he's going to leave the elephant in the room alone.]
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Now that you mention it, that's actually not a bad idea. [ Steve gives his best effort to look like he's seriously considering it, if only for the brief time he can sustain it before he's looking back at Tony, shaking his head. ]
But I meant you. Unless you think working well together was just a one-time fluke.
[ His aggressively easygoing tone doesn't betray how desperately Steve is hoping the answer is no. ]
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As long as you don't nearly kill yourself trying to save my life again.
[They both know it'll happen.]
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